Thursday, November 19, 2015

November People's Choice Award

The people have spoken... The November People's Choice Award goes to Mark Sherstinsky for his short play, Amber’s Outgoing, presented as a staged reading at Monday Night PlayGround on November 9 at the Zephyr Theatre. Congratulations, Mark!

Courtesy of Mr. Sherstinsky, we're pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!






AMBER’S OUTGOING
by Mark Sherstinsky

Characters:

AMBER                                  female, 20s to 30s, any race

ABE LINCOLN                     male, 30s to 50s, caucasian
                       
MILLARD FILLMORE          male, 30s to 50s, caucasian

Lights up on AMBER, who is center stage and dialing numbers on her cell phone keypad, pausing briefly between each dial to carefully listen to the voicemail recording menu instructions.

AMBER
(Finally speaking into phone)  Hi!...(Beat)…You've reached Amber!  I’m not available to take your call right now, but please leave a message.   And I’ll get back to you right away.   Promise!...(Beat…takes phone away from face…to self, frustrated)…Stupid!  Ugh.  God.  So Stupid…(mocking self)…Promise!

AMBER dials the series of numbers again to access her outgoing voicemail recording.

AMBER (cont)
(Deep breath) Hi!  This is Amber.  I’m away from my phone right now.  But if you leave me a message, I’ll call you at a convenient time.  Thanks so much.  Bye…(Beat…to self)…At a convenient time?  What the fuck!?  Stupid!  Stupid, Amber!  Who says that?

AMBER dials again.

AMBER (cont)
Hi.  It’s Amber, and you’ve reached my cell phone.  Thanks so much for calling.  I can’t answer the phone right now, but if you leave a detailed message with your name and phone number, I’ll call you back as soon as possible.  Thank you, and have a great day!..(Beat…puts phone away, in despair)

AMBER recovers and starts dialing again.  ABE LINCOLN enters.

ABE LINCOLN
Hello.

AMBER
(Big startled scream)  Ahhh!...Oh god you scared the fucking shit out of me, motherfucker!

ABE LINCOLN
My apologies.  It was not my intention.

AMBER
Who the hell are you?

ABE LINCOLN
(Beat) I’m Abraham Lincoln.

AMBER
(Laughs) Okay.  That’s creepy, man.  You don’t just sneak up on a person and then tell them you’re Abraham Lincoln.  (Beat, a little scared) What do you want?

ABE LINCOLN
To help you with your insurmountable problem.

ABE LINCOLN approaches AMBER but stops as she speaks.

AMBER
Look, back the fuck away right now before I lose my shit…(Indicating her phone)…I’m calling the police.

ABE LINCOLN
No need for the militia.  Please, calm yourself.  You do understand who I am? 

AMBER
(Studies ABRAHAM LINCOLN’s face, beat, speaking to phone) Siri, google images of Abraham Lincoln.  (He bears a striking resemblance) You’re shitting me, right?

ABE LINCOLN
(Thinks about this turn of phrase) I’ve never and would never do that to another person.  I’ve been watching you labor away, and you’re simply amazing—.

AMBER
Watching me?!

ABE LINCOLN
(approaches AMBER) Your steadfasteness, you’re doggedness, unmatched in anyone I’ve seen since Ulysses Grant or Henry Clay, or perhaps Thaddeus Stevens—

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Join us for the next Monday Night PlayGround on Monday, December 14, at the Zephyr Theatre and choose your own favorite. Click here for more info.

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