Tuesday, March 11, 2014

March People's Choice Award

The people have spoken... The March People's Choice Award goes to Mercedes Segesvary for her short play, If I Were A Man, presented as a staged reading at the H(ER)STORY-inspired Monday Night PlayGround on March 10 at the Zephyr Theatre. Congratulations, Mercedes!

Courtesy of Ms. Segesvary, we're pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

IF I WERE A MAN
by Mercedes Segesvary

Characters

WOMAN: Female, no specific race or age. Wears an attractive dress that is easy to
remove and something underneath like a slip or spanks or bra and panties that she is
comfortable standing in. She will be removing the dress on stage and exchanging clothes
with Man.

MAN: Male, no specific race or age. Wears pants and a zip up or button up that is easy to
remove and something underneath like an under shirt and boxers that he is comfortable
standing in. He will be removing the pants and shirt on stage and exchanging clothes with
Woman.

EXTRA ONE: Female or male, no specific race or age. Has no speaking lines but is
required to lift, move and impose actions upon Man and Woman. He/she dresses the
same as Extra Two, preferably in all one color, pants and shirt.

EXTRA TWO: Female or male, no specific race or age. Has no speaking lines but is
required to lift, move and impose actions upon Man and Woman. He/she dresses the
same as Extra One, preferably in all one color, pants and shirt.

Setting
No specific place. Only two chairs on set.

Props
Man’s watch. Lipstick. Make up remover. Hair tie. Razor for shaving.

Lights Up. Two chairs face audience. One is down stage right facing audience and the other is upstage left facing away from audience. EXTRA ONE and EXTRA TWO enter carrying WOMAN who is wearing a dress and heels with her hair and face nicely done. They place WOMAN in the chair stage right. They position her to face audience. EXTRA ONE does something to her back. WOMAN comes to life and sits up straight, hands on her lap, knees together. She looks straight out at audience.

WOMAN
If I were a man I would sit in a chair and never keep my knees together. (She relaxes.)
I’d have a penis, right here and a set of balls. (She motions to her genitals.)
I would give “the boys” space to relax. I would call them “the boys.” Everyone would
know that I was referring to my balls.

During WOMAN’s next lines EXTRA ONE and EXTRA TWO come over and cross WOMAN’s
legs for her and get her to sit up straight again fixing her hair and clothes.

WOMAN
No one would be offended by the way I sit. Because I would be comfortable in my chair
with my legs casually spread. If I were a man I would never keep my knees together
when sitting. No one would take a secretive glance at the tip of my pedicured toes and
slowly draw their eyes up my ritually waxed legs to my soft round knees. No one would
imagine running their fingertips up past my knees across my inner thigh into my warm
gooey center with that unforgettable smell.

EXTRA ONE runs his/her fingers up woman’s crossed legs into her inner thigh, almost mechanically. WOMAN arches her back and holds on to the side of the chair.

WOMAN
No one would visualize watching me bite my lower lip in a secretive delight from the
power of his uninvited touch. No one would imagine me doing this and think that’s
exactly what I want when I wear a short dress on the bus to work. No would think that
because If I were a man I would not wear a dress like this.

WOMAN stands and EXTRA ONE and EXTRA TWO help her take her dress off and place it on
her chair. She steps out of the dress, still in her heels and a slip, or bra and panties. She stands looking forward as if looking in a mirror. She places her hands on her hips then rubs her belly, pushing it out and sucking it in as if she has a beer gut.

WOMAN
If I were a man, this gesture would imply a beer gut. Nothing else.

EXTRA ONE and EXTRA TWO exit and return carrying MAN. They place man in the chair
stage left facing away from audience. EXTRA TWO does something to his back. MAN comes
to life. He looks all around him then sits relaxed. EXTRA ONE removes MAN’s watch and
brings it over to WOMAN. She takes it and uses it during her next lines, putting it on.

WOMAN
If I were a man I would spend nine thousand, four hundred and seventy-five dollars on a
manually wound Rolex watch. A device that reminds the wearer of every passing
moment, every second, every minute, every hour that slips through his fingers as he goes
on about his day. I would admire it as I put it on in the morning with a self-imposed ritual
of picking it up with my left hand and winding it with my right. I would feel the sensation
of the watch nipping at my arm hair as I pull it on because the more arm hair I had the
more I would feel a man. I would lock the clasp and admire the craftsmanship on my
wrist. I would wear that watch everyday to remind myself of the cost of time passing. I
would love that watch. I would love it even more in the evening when I take it off with a
similar dedicated ritual of compassion and admiration. I would love that watch because it
carries it’s own time that relies on me to wind it up. I would have control over my ticking
clock; it would not have control over me.

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Help celebrate the best work from 2013-14 at the Best of PlayGround Gala on Monday, May 12. Click here for more info.